Holiday Strangeness

There is something about the holidays that always leads to drama. We all have our own expectations, desires, and personal issues. We want gifts, attention, recognition... The hype of the season sucks. I wish we could just have random holidays, for those days when you want to throw your hands up and yell, "Enough!" How fantastic would it be if someone just walked up to you and offered you the day off? "Here, have a break from life. Do something spontaneous, lose some stress, feel a little younger."

I'm at home, so I miss school. When I'm at school, I miss home. I want to be warm, but I miss the cold. I have the best of both worlds, but whenever I'm in one I want the other. Mostly, I just feel restless. I want to feel settled.

My best friend from high school ran away from home. No one knows where she is, and we couldn't get ahold of her for almost two days. Today, her parents called the cops, they called people from her phone records, and she finally texted that she would head home. Still haven't seen her, though. It brings up bad memories and I'm totally freaked. Her parents are exemplary role models, she has a fantastic support system, and her life is great. She wasn't fighting with anyone in her family, so know one knows why she left. She just did.

Life is like that, you know? Things just happen. My friend's father is dying of cancer. Happy holidays! I was sick. I came home for warmth and got major rains that caused horrific mudslides. Shit happens.

I'm very sad right now, and twitchy and anxious. I inevitably get upset during the holidays, no matter what I do. Stability is needed, even though I like change. I think I need to purge, so I guess I'll go paint my nails.

Zebra Stripes

School is insanely well under way. We are only 3 weeks into the semester, bout we are already prepping for tests and learning voluminous quantities of difficult, thought-provoking material. Sadly, several very intelligent people in my major are thinking about switching to an easier major because they are burning out on science three semesters through their college educations.

I know I already feel the need for a break, although thankfully I got a decent reprieve in the form of a 4-day weekend over Labor Day. I don't understand why educational facilities feel such a need to push their students so hard. To get into vet school, I need to have 1000 hours of animal contact (easy), 1000 hours of veterinary contact (moderately difficult), perfect grades (impossible - I lost my 4 first semester), tons of volunteer work (easy), and a job to prove that I can juggle school and work. Now, that wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't taking 3-4 science classes with labs each semester, but I have to prove that I can handle the load that I will take on in vet school (21+ credits of science).

My take: I worked my butt off in high school to form good study habits and get into a good school, where I am required to work my ass off to got into vet school. From there, although I no longer need to worry about grades for school, I have to worry about class standings for internships. Once I graduate, I can spend the rest of my life working to pay off school debts and make a comfortable life for myself. So, where does the living part fit into that?

I happily decided to try an insy bit less hard in school, accept a 3.5, and have a life. Besides, admissions are all about who you know. right? I guess I'll find out in 2 1/2 years if I'm making a huge mistake. In the mean time, I'd like to know why we push perfection so strongly, and why our society is centered around all work and no play.

About Going Crazy, One Day at a Time

Parental #1 had the Significant Other over yesterday afternoon. He spent the night, and tonight he made us dinner. He's a really great chef, but he's also intensely arrogant. He made fun of me because I didn't know how to cook the bacon. I understand now that it's really quite simple, but hey - I've never done it before. He tried to take over, before making some unfriendly comments. It was quite unnecessary. I've come to the conclusion that he's just an unhappy person. The Parental and I have had some talks about it, but it's hard because I don't want to hurt her feelings, and really, it's not my decision anyway.

I say:
- He's rude and spiteful
- He's overbearingly sarcastic, which translates to bitter and hurtful
- He was an alcoholic until he quit drinking a month ago
- He's broke
- He's extremely disrespectful to the Parental and the Sibling
- He hates men
- He acts like he owns the world and everyone else is just in his way

She says:
- He's very helpful (true)
- She gets lonely (true)
- It's hard to meet people at her age (excuse)
- He's someone to do things with (true, but she deserves better)
- She cares about him (not my business)

So basically, I can't stand him, he upsets me, and he hurts my feelings. I like having my Parental to myself. Maybe I'm just being selfish, but I honestly believe that she could do much better for herself, and that he makes her depressed. I don't think she's a very happy person, and that is extremely upsetting to me. I want her to be happy, but I feel that it's up to her to determine what makes her happy and how to achieve that.

The Y Factor

I'll start this off plainly: I have Daddy Issues.

Problems I have with my father:
- He lies
- He's a master manipulator
- He makes me feel bad for things that aren'n my fault
- He changes his story when he talks to different people
- He doesn't listen to a lot of what I say (I can talk about my horse for 20 minutes, and when I'm done, he'll ask me how my horse is)
- He cuts people off when they're talking
- He treats employees like inferior people
- He is dating someone 1/2 his age (she's not even 4 years older than me)

Upsides:
- Sometimes he buys me stuff
- He supports my education

Qualifications:
- Usually junk. Like that pen shaped like a moose, which he got when he took his gf to Canada. I'd rather go on the trip
- It's a huge battle to get money, and then he tells me I use him as an ATM machine. I'd like to point out that if he's an ATM, he's broken


Honestly, I can't think of too many good qualities. I try, but I don't feel like I have anything in common with him. I got super mad at him last year, and he just shut down. I cried for hours, but when I tried to tell him how I felt, his response was, "that's fair". No matter what I said, his response didn't change.
I don't miss him when I don't talk to him for a while. When I do think about him, it's more from a sense of obligation to talk to him than anything else. My childhood memories involve him sitting on the couch with a bag of popcorn and a beer every night watching the history channel. I recall him and parental numero uno having yelling matches.
He yelled at the gf the other day at their business. She claimed he never helped. He went ballistic, said it wasn't true (it's not), and yelled at her to never yell at him. It was really a very circular, pointless argument with no obvious goal.

So, I have daddy issues. I don't really know what to do about them. I need his help to support me, but I don't want to spend time with him. I've tried to see past my issues with him, and every once in a while we have a good time together, but he's simply hurt me too much for me to ever truly forgive him. I can convince myself that I've let go on the surface, but I know that deep down I just can't let go.

Occupational Hazards

I'm home with my parents for the summer since school is out, and I applied for a job so that I can save up to ship my horse to school with me in the fall. I have been working for a very short time now at a local take and bake pizza place, and I absolutely love it. I didn't think I would, but I truly do. I adore the rush when we have four employees all crowded around with two phones ringing, three people in line and six pizzas to make. Tonight was my busiest night yet - we made well over 50 pizzas in a four hour block.

Sometimes people will call in with ridiculous orders, and we're all about keeping the customer happy. They can order something completely different on each half. Better yet, one tonight was 3/4 one thing and 1/4 another. Sometimes each half will require a different sauce, and they can't mix. It can get really frustrating in a hurry.

So the phone rings and I answer with a chirpy singsong, "Thank you for calling (Name of Pizza Place) this is (Name), would you like to hear our specials?" She would, but it turns out she doesn't want any of them. She knows what she does want, however, and she politely places an easy order for two simple pizzas. Her name is Jane Doe, and she wants to pick up her dinner in 20 minutes.

20 minutes later, a gentleman comes in to pick up his order for Jane Doe. When a fellow employee tries to ring him up, though, one of the pizzas is wrong. He didn't order that simple one topping pizza, but rather a nice complicated thing that takes an extra five minutes to make even though we're already super backed up. All the while we're making it, he causes a scene about it not being ready. Now, several things are happening. Employees are annoyed that his order was wrong, I'm annoyed because I know that was what was called in but I'm starting to second guess myself anyway, and customers are edgy because he's making a scene.

It's at least another 10 minutes before that wave has moved on and we can all talk for a second. I'm still upset about the mix-up, but they all laugh it off and say his wife is going to be mad when he gets home and he's changed her order. Feeling better, I face the next wave of people. Lo and behold, who should walk in but Jane Doe? Turns out, that guy never called in an order, but simply took one of her pizzas and jumped the line (he paid for his pizzas, but still). Now we have another unhappy customer, because her food isn't ready even though she took twice as long coming in as she said she would.

So, my question is, what was that guy doing? Did he honestly believe he called in his order and we got it wrong? Did he think he was ordering it right then and not realize he was taking someone's call-in order? Or was he just a jerk working the system to avoid waiting five minutes like everyone else? And even if it was all just a cosmic mix-up, why couldn't he have been polite about it? Some people are always in such a hurry to get where they're going that they forget to be nice to people on their way. Please, smile at people completing a service for you, whether your'e paying them or not. A simple gesture goes a long way, especially when you factor in the snowball effect. :)

On Habits, the Breaking and Forming of

These days, almost everyone in America is familiar with the QWERTY keyboard. Kids are taught basic typing skills in grade school, it comes standard on keyboards, laptops and phones, and really, what other option is there? Well, there's the Dvorak, for one.

I don't even recall how I heard about it, but when I did a few days ago, I immediately knew I had to try it. With my brother's help, I pulled all the keys off, rearranged them and switched my MacBook over. And I'm not looking back.

The whole thing about the Dvorak is that the arrangement of keys is supposed to allow for faster typing because more words can be spelt without fingers leaving the home row than with a QWERTY. It's even alleged by the creators to help reduce repetitive motion stress such as carpal tunnel. You can read about it here.

Anyway, my question is this: how hard is it to break old habits and form new ones? I enjoy blogging because it forces me to figure out this new layout much more quickly. I dreaded it at first, but I continued making myself type things out for practice and it's making a huge difference. I'm already much faster than I was just 24 hours ago, although it will be sometime before my fingers fly the way they used to.

I read somewhere once that it takes 30 days to make or break a habit. I wonder how true that is? I constantly slip up and type familiar words the way I had with a QWERTY board. On the one hand, I think it will be a lot easier to retrain my brain because I am completely immersed, as they say. I have no option to cheat with the old format while typing. On the other hand, my phone is still QWERTY, along with every other computer in the house. I wonder how that will affect my learning curve?

SPKRLF

You know those lovely words that you make up when you aren't thinking clearly, or that you fumble out when you can't decide between two words in your head and they come out together as one?

We've had a string of burglaries in the neighborhood lately, starting with my brother's car where a client's computer was stolen. They caught two of the three thieves the other night, but one got away (the police think it was a female). Apparently parental numero uno heard someone outside at 1 am this morning and took the dog out (with her cell phone in case things went south). It was a suspicious looking female who claimed she was walking her dog. She then proceeded to let the dog out of the car, which homed in on our poor golden retriever and went straight to attack mode. Parental tried to gently kick the dog away (we would never hurt animals, but we do fiercely protect our own). Needless to say, this all made quite a racket that I apparently slept through.

So, I was talking to the parental about the incident this morning after I woke up, and she was astounded that I didn't hear any of it. I made some comment about how my cat must have smothered me hearing, but I pronounced it with a hard "o" instead of the "u" sound that it's supposed to be. Unfortunately, I've yet to hear the end of it.

Furthermore, I was talking to parental numero dos at lunch today, and he decided to talk about family history. He made some comment about all the singers in our ancestral lines. Now, just to set the record straight, I cannot sing on key. At all. I love to sing, so I'll belt out every country song I know in some horrendous pitch whether you like it or not, but I really can't sing. I sent a text message to a good friend who has a voice to die for, and I asked her why I missed out on the vocal genes. It randomly hit me about two hours later that I typed "quire" when I meant "choir". So really, what malfunction occurs in our brains to cause cute spelling mishaps and fancy new words to pop out?

For good old fashioned english fun, I give you www.engrish.com Enjoy!