About Going Crazy, One Day at a Time

Parental #1 had the Significant Other over yesterday afternoon. He spent the night, and tonight he made us dinner. He's a really great chef, but he's also intensely arrogant. He made fun of me because I didn't know how to cook the bacon. I understand now that it's really quite simple, but hey - I've never done it before. He tried to take over, before making some unfriendly comments. It was quite unnecessary. I've come to the conclusion that he's just an unhappy person. The Parental and I have had some talks about it, but it's hard because I don't want to hurt her feelings, and really, it's not my decision anyway.

I say:
- He's rude and spiteful
- He's overbearingly sarcastic, which translates to bitter and hurtful
- He was an alcoholic until he quit drinking a month ago
- He's broke
- He's extremely disrespectful to the Parental and the Sibling
- He hates men
- He acts like he owns the world and everyone else is just in his way

She says:
- He's very helpful (true)
- She gets lonely (true)
- It's hard to meet people at her age (excuse)
- He's someone to do things with (true, but she deserves better)
- She cares about him (not my business)

So basically, I can't stand him, he upsets me, and he hurts my feelings. I like having my Parental to myself. Maybe I'm just being selfish, but I honestly believe that she could do much better for herself, and that he makes her depressed. I don't think she's a very happy person, and that is extremely upsetting to me. I want her to be happy, but I feel that it's up to her to determine what makes her happy and how to achieve that.

The Y Factor

I'll start this off plainly: I have Daddy Issues.

Problems I have with my father:
- He lies
- He's a master manipulator
- He makes me feel bad for things that aren'n my fault
- He changes his story when he talks to different people
- He doesn't listen to a lot of what I say (I can talk about my horse for 20 minutes, and when I'm done, he'll ask me how my horse is)
- He cuts people off when they're talking
- He treats employees like inferior people
- He is dating someone 1/2 his age (she's not even 4 years older than me)

Upsides:
- Sometimes he buys me stuff
- He supports my education

Qualifications:
- Usually junk. Like that pen shaped like a moose, which he got when he took his gf to Canada. I'd rather go on the trip
- It's a huge battle to get money, and then he tells me I use him as an ATM machine. I'd like to point out that if he's an ATM, he's broken


Honestly, I can't think of too many good qualities. I try, but I don't feel like I have anything in common with him. I got super mad at him last year, and he just shut down. I cried for hours, but when I tried to tell him how I felt, his response was, "that's fair". No matter what I said, his response didn't change.
I don't miss him when I don't talk to him for a while. When I do think about him, it's more from a sense of obligation to talk to him than anything else. My childhood memories involve him sitting on the couch with a bag of popcorn and a beer every night watching the history channel. I recall him and parental numero uno having yelling matches.
He yelled at the gf the other day at their business. She claimed he never helped. He went ballistic, said it wasn't true (it's not), and yelled at her to never yell at him. It was really a very circular, pointless argument with no obvious goal.

So, I have daddy issues. I don't really know what to do about them. I need his help to support me, but I don't want to spend time with him. I've tried to see past my issues with him, and every once in a while we have a good time together, but he's simply hurt me too much for me to ever truly forgive him. I can convince myself that I've let go on the surface, but I know that deep down I just can't let go.