Holiday Strangeness

There is something about the holidays that always leads to drama. We all have our own expectations, desires, and personal issues. We want gifts, attention, recognition... The hype of the season sucks. I wish we could just have random holidays, for those days when you want to throw your hands up and yell, "Enough!" How fantastic would it be if someone just walked up to you and offered you the day off? "Here, have a break from life. Do something spontaneous, lose some stress, feel a little younger."

I'm at home, so I miss school. When I'm at school, I miss home. I want to be warm, but I miss the cold. I have the best of both worlds, but whenever I'm in one I want the other. Mostly, I just feel restless. I want to feel settled.

My best friend from high school ran away from home. No one knows where she is, and we couldn't get ahold of her for almost two days. Today, her parents called the cops, they called people from her phone records, and she finally texted that she would head home. Still haven't seen her, though. It brings up bad memories and I'm totally freaked. Her parents are exemplary role models, she has a fantastic support system, and her life is great. She wasn't fighting with anyone in her family, so know one knows why she left. She just did.

Life is like that, you know? Things just happen. My friend's father is dying of cancer. Happy holidays! I was sick. I came home for warmth and got major rains that caused horrific mudslides. Shit happens.

I'm very sad right now, and twitchy and anxious. I inevitably get upset during the holidays, no matter what I do. Stability is needed, even though I like change. I think I need to purge, so I guess I'll go paint my nails.